Revenge is a Sneeze Muffin

Tuesday last week Tom made chocolate muffins at school. In my usual grand style of leaving everything until the last minute and not paying attention to details I managed to not notice that we didn’t have self-raising flour until the morning he was due to make the muffins. School had given us two weeks’ notice and sent a text the day before to remind us but I still managed to not be prepared because, well, I suck at times. We had everything else, even muffin cases, but somehow I had mistaken my second bag of plain flour for self raising flour. Doh! Why did I have two bags of plain flour? I don’t know. Life’s weird like that. The only solution was for me to accompany him to school, stopping off at the local store to buy emergency flour, with him trailing several paces behind and trying to look like he didn’t know me, buying the flour and then haring up the hill to school with it, decanting it into a sandwich bag so he didn’t have to carry a 1Kg bag of flour around in his school bag all day and signing him into school late. #Mumfail. What made it worse was the fact that one of his friends was in reception and witnessed me arriving, decanting flour into a bag, making a mess of white powder all over the coffee table, declaring to anyone who might be watching that it wasn’t drugs or anthrax, rummaging around in my bag for a wet wipe to mop up the spillage and then drying it off with a grubby tissue, apologising profusely to Tom and admitting to being “a crap Mum at times” and then hugging him. The shame, the horror! Tom bore it manfully and escaped as quickly as he could. Sometimes I embarrass even myself….

He got his revenge. That week he had a cold and was in full-on sneeze mode. I knew without a doubt that I would be required to eat at least one muffin in front of him so he could see me enjoy them and bask in the glory of my hearty praise. I did my duty that afternoon and ate a sneeze muffin. It was delicious. Four days later I caught the cold. Revenge is sweet – and chocolate flavoured.

Delicious muffin picture courtesy of katjsasv at




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